1 Corinthians 7:36-40
Ps Paul Cheng
~5 min read
Dear Bethelities,
As the Apostle Paul exhorted the Corinthians biblical truth about marriage, singlehood and widowhood, he pointed them to the chief end of man. The chief end of man is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever (WSC 1). In our previous pastoral chat, we had considered his advice to singles and how singlehood could enable them to have an undivided devotion to the Lord. Then he turned his attention to the fathers and widows.
II. His advice to the fathers
But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. (1 Corinthians 7:36)
In those days, parents, particularly the fathers, had an important role in deciding whom their children would marry. In the New Testament times, arranged marriage amongst the young people was the norm.
In Corinth, some of the fathers had dedicated their young daughters to the Lord as permanent virgins. To pass the flower of her age means to reach the prime of her age. In other words, if the daughter reached the marriageable age and she wanted to be married, the father would be in a dilemma. Should he break the vow he had made for the daughter since it was obvious that she did not have the gift of singleness, and she was struggling with her desire to get married?
In such a situation, if the father who had taken the vow to dedicate his daughter to serve the Lord as a virgin, had he sinned in breaking the vow? No! It was not God’s will, and he was free to allow the couple to be married.
Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well.(v.37)
But if the father was firm in his resolve, it was not necessary for him to change his mind because his daughter had no desire to get married. Then he had the power and authority to keep his own will, and he was able to fulfil whatever he so decreed (determined) in his heart to keep his daughter as a virgin, and Paul said, he doeth well. It was a good thing!
So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. (v.38)
Here it was not a matter between right and wrong, but rather between good and better. It was good to give your daughter away in marriage, but it was better not to give her away in marriage. The comparison between good and better was in relation to living with an undivided devotion to God. In other words, it is good to live for Christ as a married person, but it is better to live for Him as an unmarried person because of the undivided attention.
Dear friend, there is an important spiritual lesson we can learn from here. As we make our plans, we ought to consider how those decisions would relate to God; whether they be plans pertaining to our families, work, residence, holidays, etc. Though those plans may not be sinful in and of themselves; it is not a question between right and wrong, but rather between good and better. Is it better for our family to reside in this or that location, or is it better for us to work in this or that company, or is it better for us to travel to this or that country for holiday? Is it good or better - in relation to God!
III. His advice to widows
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord. (v.39)
Marriage is permanent, but this marriage relationship is not permanent in the sense of being eternal but lifelong. Marriage is binding as long as both partners are alive (till death us do part).
A word of advice to all our young people. If you ever prayerfully consider marriage, you must bear in mind that marriage is truly till death us do part. If you are not ready for that, please do not get married! Divorce must never be considered an option to break the marriage bond.
But if the husband be dead, the wife is at liberty to remarry. This truth is applicable not only to widows, but to widowers as well. The widow is free to be married to whom she will, however there is a condition, if she does remarry, it must be to another believer, only in the Lord. Obviously, only in the Lord must be according to the Lord’s will. It must never be an unequally yoked relationship!
But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God. (v.40)
But Paul said, “Remarriage is not the best situation. It is my judgment, or counsel, that she is happier if she remains as a single person.” Here, Paul was not giving his opinion based on his own human wisdom but under the influence of the Spirit of God.
A widowed person who has God’s grace for singleness will be happier to remain single. Again, it is not a matter between right and wrong, but rather good and better. The widowed person will be able to serve the Lord with a single-minded devotion, until the day God calls him or her home.
Once a widow shared with me that the reason why she did not want to remarry was because she could not endure the painful experience of burying someone whom she loved dearly. She said to me, “If I were to remarry and if I die before my husband, then he would have to go through the painful experience of burying me. If he dies before me, then I would have to go through the painful experience of burying him. Why do I want to bring upon myself this trouble all over again?” Though we can understand her mentality, and though her thoughts may be noble, it is not good enough.
Dear friend, whether we should remain single or be married, or remarry after we are widowed, whatever decision we make, must be based on this one purpose, “I want to live and serve the Lord with an undivided devotion!” For that matter, whatever decisions we need to make in our lives, we need to ask ourselves, “Is this decision going to help me achieve this undivided devotion to the Lord? Or is this decision going to draw me away from the Lord? The Lord Jesus who has saved me, He alone knows what is best for me, and He will grant me that which is best, because He knows that my heart is in tune with Him!”
We do not know what is in store for us in the future, but what we do know is that our God is in control of the future and He has a plan for us; whether we remain as singles, or get married, or remain as widows, or get remarried. Whatever is the Lord’s will for us, we will accept, and we want to live and serve Him with an undivided devotion.
With love in Christ,
Pastor Paul Cheng
1 CORINTHIANS 7Singleness Or Marriage (Part 1)Singleness Or Marriage (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-7
Singleness Or Marriage (Part 2)Singleness Or Marriage (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:2-5
Divorce and Remarriage (Part 1)Divorce and Remarriage (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:10-11
Divorce and Remarriage (Part 2)Divorce and Remarriage (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:12-16, 39
Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 1)Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:17-19, 21-23
Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 2)Be Faithful to Your Calling (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:20, 24
Should I Remain Single (Part 1)Should I Remain Single (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:25-28
Should I Remain Single (Part 2)Should I Remain Single (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:29-31
An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 2)An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 2)1 Corinthians 7:36-40
An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 1)An Undivided Devotion To The Lord (Part 1)1 Corinthians 7:36-40